Teetotal Drinking Song
Words: Manns, Music: Manns/Whelan. © 2024 Fat Statues.
Saturday night, it's time for a pint The weekend is finally here We've got stories to share, we can let down our hair Have a beer You need some booze before you blow a fuse So come out tonight, no excuse But no alcohol, I'm sorry we have to refuse So don't be afraid If we drink lemonade We don't want you to feel betrayed And don't shed a tear Alcohol free beer Our Dry January will last all year So we'll drink until the barrel's gone And we'll sing until we're hoarse Then we'll raise a glass to absent friends And we'll dance into the dawn Work it just sucks, we're down on our luck It's enough to drive you to drink We'll sort out our mess, get things off our chest Space to think We'll try to look cool, but we'll just act the fool The band's playing our favourite song We'll sing along, but we'll always get the words wrong. Well it's not a sin When we get our round in If our tonic is missing its gin We're not going to judge We'll all still have fun And you won't be drinking alone So we'll drink until the barrel's gone And we'll sing until we're hoarse Then we'll raise a glass to absent friends And we'll dance into the dawn Tonight's the night to go shake off the blues Tonight's the night to cut loose Tonight's the night when we know we've got nothing to lose Your love life's cursed and your taste's even worse Sitting waiting by the phone You try to cope being a misanthrope All alone Go take a chance and ask that girl to dance The one who gave you that smile With your two left feet, she should have fun for a while You tried in vain, but you missed the last train Well, we'll drive you back home again Come back to the pub The night is still young And the lock in's not even begun So we'll drink until the barrel's gone And we'll sing until we're hoarse Then we'll raise a glass to absent friends And we'll dance into the dawn 'Cos tomorrow is another day And we've only got tonight So share that kiss, and go get pissed Till we see the morning light
“All good bands have written a drinking song. I wanted to write one too. Only one problem – we both don’t drink anymore. We don’t have any problem with anyone else drinking. We can party just as hard as you, only we can drive home again afterwards!
I wanted to write some lyrics where the teetotallers weren’t the ones being moral or prudish and were the ones leading the others astray. Coupled with a catchy chorus that everyone can sing along to, like all the best pub songs.
I wrote the music for the chorus, the refrain and the bridge (and an instrumental intro/outro that might make its way onto the album), but I thought Ronnie would do a far better job of writing an interesting chord progression for the verse. I wasn’t wrong, it’s something I could never have come up with.”